4.) Walking on a Dream
(Empire of the Sun)
&
5.) Without You
(Empire of the Sun)
The
first half of this year has been a haze for me until recently. Constantly, I
found myself confused, at school and in every aspect of my life. Even while I
was in class, I was detached. Even while I was with Cody, I was not. I was
finally beginning to see me for who I am, and starting to acknowledge what I wanted. Beginning to accept the truth.
Starting to know what kind of people I wanted in my life.
I actually wrote up this dream
relationship I wanted, and instead, I looked for it:
“We’re just looking at each other, completely
at peace with each other. No past to corrupt the future; just the then and
tomorrow. The dancing lights at the night club, where we fall all over each other
again and again. His smiling friends laughing and becoming mine too. The cold
of the winter as I slip my coat on over my silk dress, the breeze that pushes
through the exit door as we flood onto the street. I look up at him, my nose
cold from the weather, and he smiles at my face and leans down to kiss me.
Suddenly, everything’s warm. Then he just lets his cheek remain next to mine;
like wallowing in the moment, hanging on to it for a second longer. The way
love should be, naturally flowing; the kind of trance that makes you loose
track of time. The kind of love that you look back on and think, wow it
happened so fast. 50 years together and all you can place on your time together
is a smile (pure, innocent happiness). Unguarded memories. Days spent on the
beach together. Evenings spent leaning back into the sand, watching the sunset,
heads touching in awe.
In a world where people make little to no impact on your
relationship unless you allow them to.
When you open your eyes for the first time
in the morning, and he’s already staring, heavy eyed, at you. He reaches over
and traces your jaw line, starting at the back of your ear down to your chin.
Completely infatuated with you. Completely
infatuated with him. Equal love; equally in love. Time doesn’t tick unless you
count every special moment you had.
Not only did you watch him embark on his dreams, you were
asked to join, to be a part of his dreams, to look back and have no regrets
that you both shared yourselves with one another. No secrets because there was
no two; only the one. You bounced ideas off of one another, then made your
decision. You both required a certain amount of time together, which was great,
and so was the space. Because the space did not in any way separate you two.
You both still felt happy with the small distance, and were able to simply
reunite later on.
It’s flawed and perfect in one. It’s simple
and complicated at the same time.
